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Curious and Curiouser Podcast


May 23, 2017

This week, Tracey and Cayly are talking relationships and attachment — a topic about which Tracey is an expert and something she works on regularly in her work with clients. She gives a brief history of attachment theory and breaks down the three main attachment styles that play out in adult relationships. Cayly and Tracey talk about their own attachment styles and about how doing the work to shift their less desirable patterns has been key to creating healthy, happy intimate partnerships in their own lives. They also offer tips about how to begin this process in your own life. If you're a person in a relationship — or a person interested in one day being in a relationship — this episode is for you. You don’t want to miss this discussion. So much useful information here! Specific highlights include:

 

- John Bowlby and Attachment Theory  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bowlby

- The three stages of attachment, ages 0-3 yrs.

- Defining secure attachment, anxious attachment, and avoidant attachment styles in adults

- Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller  https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139

- What secure attachment looks like in a relationship

- What are Tracey and Cayly’s default attachment styles?

- Yes, you can move from anxious or avoidant towards secure?

- Is it possible for siblings growing up in the same family to end up with different attachment styles?

- Can you shift your own attachment pattern on your own or do you need to do this work in relationship with another person?

- Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find by Harville Hendrix  https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Anniversary/dp/0805087001  https://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Love-You-Find-Personal/dp/0671734202

- What purpose do the anxious and avoidant styles serve if they aren’t conducive to sustainable relationships?

- What happens in a relationship if one person is anxious and one person is avoidant

- Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson  http://www.drsuejohnson.com/books/hold-me-tight/

- The three options available to you in any relationship

- What is the process of changing your attachment style really like?

- How Cayly realized she needed to start looking at her attachment style and doing the work to change it

- And more!