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Curious and Curiouser Podcast

Aug 8, 2017

Why do we feel compelled to compare ourselves to others and what are the negative consequences of doing so?


This is the question Tracey and Cayly are attempting to answer in this week’s episode of the Curious & Curiouser Podcast. They also offer a quick vocabulary lesson to help distinguish between envy and jealousy, and talk about which of these feelings is most at play when we find ourselves drawing comparisons between our lives and the lives of those around us.


Tracey and Cayly describe how comparison-making has gone awry in their own lives, and explore the ways in which putting someone up on a pedestal can be a barrier to building a relationship with them.


The ladies also offer some tips on disrupting this pattern of comparing and discuss the role social media plays in potentially exacerbating this urge to compare.


This is a topic that touches on every other question so far addressed on the show, and is important for the far-reaching implications this comparison game has on almost every aspect of our lives.


Enjoy this conservation! Share it with your friends! And then leave the show a 5-star rating or review in iTunes if you feel so inclined! Tracey and Cayly would be super appreciative if you did!


Highlights from this episode include:


- A quick vocabulary lesson on the difference between envy and jealousy, and which of these is at play when we are comparing ourselves to others

- The role of social media in the urge to draw comparisons and the pain this can cause

- How Tracey and Cayly use social media themselves; Cayly’s instagram (

- Are we wired to draw comparisons?

- What’s the antidote to playing the comparison game?

- Article on Tracey’s website about sibling comparing and the idea of being inspired by others (

- How Cayly put her sister up on a pedestal when they were younger and how that affected their relationship

- How comparisons become barriers to intimacy

- Does being a parenting expert make Tracey a perfect parent? Does it mean her kids are perfect?

- How Cayly compared herself to her partner when they started dating and how that impacted their relationship

- The shame that sometimes accompanies comparisons related to money and income

- Episode 4 on Social Decluttering (

- Comparing ourselves to other people on Instagram and feeling envy even if we don’t actually want what others have

- Why Tracey doesn’t love camping

- What are the negative consequences of comparing ourselves to others?

- Internal locus of control vs. external locus of control as they relate to confidence

- Observing instead of comparing to learn something and gather information

- What dog puke on a hiking trail taught Tracey about the comparison game and what a waste of energy it is

- The question that helps Cayly pull herself out of a moment of comparing herself to someone else

- Is it normal to compare ourselves to others?

- The role of a scarcity mindset in the urge to draw comparisons

- Episode about the stories we tell ourselves (

- Are you allowed to unfollow people on social media? Or can the urge to unfollow someone teach you something about yourself?

- And more!