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Curious and Curiouser Podcast

Sep 12, 2017

Good news! Tracey and Cayly are talking about everyone’s favorite subject again this week . . . Sex! In this conversation, they are answering another listener question and exploring the topic of sex as it relates to religion and spirituality.


Specifically, their listener posed this question:  How do you go from being told to have no sexual desire before your wedding night to flipping that switch after you’re married and being all in?


Whoa. Great question. Many thanks to Curious & Curiouser listener, Maddison, for sending it in!


In this conversation, Tracey and Cayly talk about sexual exploration, experimentation, and getting in touch with your own sexual desires. They also talk about the importance of understanding your own anatomy and knowing how your body works, and offer lots of useful resources for beginning to explore these things yourself.


Cayly describes the shame she felt when she started her period as a teenager, and they talk about how to start letting go of shame altogether as it relates to your body and your sexuality.


Tracey and Cayly sincerely hope you enjoy this conversation! As always, 5-star ratings and reviews are appreciated, so PLEASE consider leaving one in iTunes if you’re enjoying the show! Thanks, y’all!


Highlights from this episode:

- How religion — and culture — tells us (as women, specifically) to shut down our sexual desire until we’re in a socially sanctioned relationship

- Public vs. private sexual expression for women

- Cayly’s experience of redefining sex and sexuality for herself after leaving the Mormon church and the importance of educating yourself about sex, sexuality, and your body

- Why young girls should be taught about their bodies — including full anatomy (hello, clitoris!) and tracking their menstrual cycle

- Exploring your sexual desires incrementally and setting realistic expectations with your partner

- Passionate Marriage:  Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch (

- Why masturbation is important for both women and men

- Sex does not always mean intercourse and making space for experimentation and playfulness

- Come As You Are:  The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski (

- Getting rid of the shame around sexual desires and fantasies

- Mating in Captivity:  Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel (

- Sex wasn’t always this shameful and taboo

- Sacred Pleasure:  Sex, Myths, and the Politics of the Body by Riane Eisler (

- Our bodies are designed to experience pleasure

- Giving yourself permission to be a sexual person and challenging outdated beliefs and values

- Did our parents talk to us about sex and pleasure?

- The shame Cayly felt when she started her period at 14

- Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (

- How knowing about your body and your menstrual cycle enhances your sexuality and your comfort with your own sexual desires

- And more!