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Curious and Curiouser Podcast


Jan 10, 2018

What is emotional maturity?

 

Good question, huh? Doesn’t it seem like emotional maturity is all the rage these days, except that nobody is actually talking about what it really means to be emotionally mature.

 

Tracey and Cayly agree. Which is why they chose this topic for today’s episode of the podcast.

 

In this conversation, they talk about some of the hallmarks of emotionally mature people, how you can start to cultivate more emotional maturity in your own life, and how to deal with those folks in your life who maybe aren’t so emotionally mature themselves.

 

Tracey and Cayly also explain what codependence looks like in a relationship, and talk about their own experiences of dealing with codependent behavior, including how they have learned to curtail it before it takes over.

 

Enjoy this discussion and please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating and/or review in iTunes if you find it helpful. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!

 

 

Highlights from this episode:

 

- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson (https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703)

- Three big defining attributes of emotionally mature people

- How a healthy relationship is like a well-designed house

- Working with reality instead of fighting it

- Thinking and feeling at the same time and how this relates to empathy

- Dan Siegel (http://www.drdansiegel.com/) and brain integration; logic informed by emotion

- Are teenagers capable of thinking and feeling at the same time?

- Is overly logical better than overly emotional?

- Consistency and reliability, which fosters trust

- What happens when parents are inconsistent and unpredictable? What about with an intimate partner?

- Not taking things personally and why most things are not about you at all, especially with kids and partners

- What Cayly has learned about relationships from her cat:  My Cat is a Jerk and Other Truths About Letting Go on Cayly’s website (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/cat-jerk-truths-letting-go/)

- Why it can feel easier to make everything about you

- Laughing at yourself and your mistakes and not being easily offended

- Personality disorders:  The difference between narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personalty disorder

- Is it possible to overcome borderline personality disorder?

- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (https://www.psychologytoday.com/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapy)

- Why boundaries are important and compassionate

- Emotional enmeshment, especially parents with their children

- Guilt about disengaging from the family system

- What is codependence? How does this show up in relationships with children and intimate partners?

- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025)

- Codependence Anonymous (http://coda.org/)

- How codependence gets subtly condoned in our society

- Cayly and Tracey’s experiences in codependent relationships

- Don’t Be a Jerk on Tracey’s website (http://practicalparentingpdx.com/dont-jerk-kids-relationships-will-fine-lets-talk-emotional-maturity/)

- And more!